Our Second Half
By Dr. Gerald House
Our roles change in the second half of our lives. Children are grown, and our goals change. We ask ourselves questions regarding our future, such as what is next? What is the legacy I want to leave? How much is enough, and how will I navigate my changing financial environment? We may also ask ourselves, what has my winning cost me throughout the years, and what would it look like if I had a perfect life?
As a Christian financial advisor, I play the role of counselor and advisor — especially with advice to families. I ask disruptive questions to my clients to determine their level of financial maturity and experience with money. Questions like: If your life turned out perfectly, what would it look like? I also want to understand what they may regret from their past decisions and how they want to structure their future.
Other important questions to contemplate during this time are: What is the vision for my family? Is my family thriving and able to take care of itself and others? What will my role be in leading my family during the second half of life? Mapping out a plan for the second half of life is a good start.
Many of my clients need help with decisions — such as changing careers to work fewer hours to free up time for more significant work, like living a legacy instead of just leaving a legacy. Just volunteering for non-profit organizations may not be enough. To quench our desires and bring meaning to our lives, more individual involvement is required. We often consider drastic changes to our lives.
In his book Managing Oneself, Peter Drucker distinguishes three ways to develop a second career: start one, create a parallel career, and become a social entrepreneur. Mr. Drucker believes we become very efficient in our established careers at our midlife point, and boredom overcomes us. Many people solve this boredom event by finding other challenges, like starting a side hustle (Drucker, 2017).
Bob Buford identifies the midlife phenomenon as moving into Half-Time. In his book Half Time, Moving from Success to Significance, Bob uses a football analogy to remind us that football games, like life, are won in the second half. Self-centeredness dominates our first half as we navigate the secular world of success. In our second half, we want our lives to be more significant and less stressful than the first.
Therefore, we must decide how many items we want in our Box. We can continue to shove as many items in our Box as possible in our second half or slow down and only place God in our Box. The gentle whisper speaking to us that tugs on our souls might finally reveal itself. By only placing God in our Box, we can explore our God-given talents and put them to beneficial use for the Kingdom and not just for our selfish desires (Buford, 2015).
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms (1 Peter 4:10, NKJV).
Often, determining our “true calling” is a difficult exercise. The best way to start is to review all our experiences and education to find a pattern that will bring insight into our search. I like to use a circle graph that depicts the overlapping experiences. I conducted this exercise a few years ago. It changed my direction in life. I now use my gifts to counsel people on their financial well-being in a way that honors God.
Prayer is also a powerful tool to use throughout our lives. We should not hesitate to turn to God for instructions. Additionally, we must not forget to listen to His teaching so we might mature in our faith as Christians. As we grow and our children move on to their missions in life, we can move into our second half and begin a new journey of significance.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind (James 1: 5–6, NKJV).
We must not forget to celebrate all God has done for us in our lives. This celebration will remind us to be grateful and remain humble.
Your faithful steward
References
Buford, B. (2015). Half time: Moving from success to significance. Zondervan.
Drucker, P. F. (2017). Managing oneself: And what makes an effective executive. Harvard Business Review Press.
The Holy Bible: New King James Version. (2010)… Thomas Nelson.